I have arrived! 
July 16, 2012

Here I am in China again! I'm exhausted, but ready to get on with my adventures, and ecstatic about eating real Chinese food again! The plane ride was not nearly as calm and pleasant as it could've been. For ten hours straight, a little boy screamed his head off in anguish. He was deathly afraid of airplanes. The little boy's grandmother wasn't able to calm the little boy down and she refused to sedate the boy until all four of the airline stewardesses pressured her into it. Both a paramedic and a doctor were with the hysterical boy for hours. It was... awful, to say the least. I sat next to a young man, age 29 (he looked like he was about 20), who was returning home to China to visit his parents. After hours of trying nervously/looking for excuses to talk to me, he finally blurted,"Are you married?" I laughed and told him no. He had seen a ring on the ring finger of my right hand (in China, this is a sign of marriage). Paul (his very English name) was getting his masters in accounting at the University of Indiana. He was really nice, but his incessant talking plus the little boy's ear piercing screaming kept me up the entire flight. Yikes. Paul, like most young Chinese immigrants, thought he was an exception to the rule - he thought he was different from all Chinese people because he was an independent thinker. "That's the best and only thing I've learned in America." Later, I realized that his "independent mind" was just a mask for his need to break away from his parents. He wanted nothing to do with them, so what did any decent Chinese kid do? He took advantage of his parents' wealth and left to study in America and he never looked back.

 

Arrival in Beijing

After waiting at the airport for 2+ hours, I finally got on a plane to Hefei. Jane met me at the airport and took me to her new and very much improved apartment! Some of you remember that Jane is a very special person in our lives.  She was not only the facilitator for my youngest sister's adoption in Hefei, but she also helped with Run Yi's adoption (Little Girl in Pink) and also Haley's family, one of the girls who is in the film, Somewhere Between.  Jane's daughter Jennifer, whom I love dearly was there to greet me ever so eagerly. We talked for about three hours straight. Jennifer has promised to be my travel companion to Qinghai and Gansu! In the morning, over breakfast, Jane told me that there hasn't been much work for adoption facilitators like herself for about three years now because there haven't been any adoptions! Not only that, there is now a ¥1,000 (RMB) fee for any families who wish to visit certain orphanages. Apparently, there are some exiting debts that need to be paid off... 

 Confessions from Chinese Orphanage Teachers  

Today was our first day at the therapy camp in the orphanage where I am working. It was exhausting! I am in a small city a few hours from Hefei where my younger sister is from!  I came here once several years ago and it hasn't changed much in terms of the old orphanage buildings and such.  I arrived a bit late to work due to my travels, so I missed the morning session, but I got right to work and in the afternoon we trudged through about four straight hours of lectures and workshops (so much translating...). 

 Teacher's circle

There are about a hundred kids left in the orphanage, 30 of which have been assigned to families (mostly in the US). After the workshops, the American teachers, the Chinese teachers, and the translators all went out to dinner. One of the translators, an English professor (she's native Chinese) pulled me aside on and began asking me a series of questions. She had adopted a Chinese baby girl as a single parent. Lulu plans to tell her daughter that she is adopted once she is older. She fought back tears as she listened and asked me questions about my past. I feel more humble and hopeful when I see that after 15 years, my story can still bring such emotion and inspiration to my listeners. Lulu, over dinner said,"You will do very well in this life. I know you're going to be very wealthy because of you have big earlobes [I do?]." I want you to know that I am really rooting for you." After dinner, I hung out with some of the teachers. 

 

 With some new friends, including my roommate

They were all so intrigued with my life in America. They were especially curious about "how adopted Chinese kids feel" once they are adopted. I gave them the 411 on Chinese adoptees in America. After awhile, the 'sad' questions began to surface. One of the teachers (my roommate) asked,"Fang Fang, do you ever go back to see your teachers in the orphanage?" I looked at her inquisitively. "I mean, do you think the kids from my unit who have been adopted out will ever come back and see me? Will they remember me?" Her deep brown eyes began to tear up. I couldn't help but look away. I told her that I return frequently to visit my teachers from my orphanage, but that she shouldn't count on seeing her past students for at least another four or five years. One of the other teachers told me that officials from her orphanage were instructed not to allow kids over 7 to be adopted...ever. Apparently the orphanage in her city feel that any child "released to foreigners" after a certain age will be too educated and they will talk about things they would rather be kept private. What does that even mean? The young teacher told me that there are boat loads of older kids waiting for homes in her orphanage, but that the orphanage officials won't process the children's paperwork for the fears listed above. More on the secrets of the orphanage later... I am too jet lagged to write or utter another word, except to say that I am happy to be "home." 

One of the best things here - hand-pulled noodles!

Days in Anhui

July 18, 2012

 

Everyday, all the teachers who were brought in from around China, the 4 American teachers who have come to teach workshops about education, the 4 translators, and I eat breakfast at 7am.  We get on the bus by 8am and we are at the orphanage by 8:30.  As the teachers and translators are doing their workshops, I teach and play games with the little kids.  The orphanage where I am working is an especially impoverished one.  The little ones (ages 2-7) run around with open-crotch pants and matching outfits.  It's summer time, so everyone is indoors trying to dodge the stifling heat.  I love the kids, but they quite a bunch of naughty little monkeys!  The little ones are much easier to teach and play with.  The older ones, some 12, some 18 are unbelievably out of control.  They steal, hit, and yell at the little ones.  My heart hurts so much when I see the older kids misbehaving so badly because it is a clear sign of a failing institution and lack of education.  The little room of kids I've grown to be quite fond of are adorable.  Most of the kids who are still left at the orphanage are anywhere from slightly disabled (cleft lip) to severely disabled (severe mental retardation).  The little ones are split into rooms of about 14 kids each.  

 

Each room has one or two older kids 'overseeing' the little ones.  This is exactly what my orphanage experience was like! When I first met the kids, I thought they were ruthless and out of control, but now I realize that all they really want is to be loved and touched.  Oh, how they love to be touched!  They love hugs, kisses, soft massages.  Everyday, when our giant bus rolls into the orphanage courtyard, the kids are all waiting by the front entrance to greet us!  Despite the fact that they are not at all very clean, they are adorable and very sweet.  At 10:30am, everyone crowds around one of the caregivers for a snack of hard-boiled eggs and half a large tomato.  This snack time is brought to you by our group!  At lunch, I help feed the kids a nice lunch of rice porridge.  That sure does bring back my orphanage memories! Other than a few bits of egg, cucumber, carrots, and celery, it's all pretty bland.  After lunch, I help the ayi's (the caregivers) put the kids down for a nap.  In the afternoon, after all the teachers and translators have eaten, we all head back to the orphanage.  During these sessions, every teacher is required to complete the day's activity with one child.  Li Ling, the little girl I'm holding in most of the photos has become my little shadow baby.  

 

She won't let me go anywhere by myself!  I love her so much and I wish I could take her home with me.  Developmentally, all of these kids are about 3-5 years behind schedule.  The little boy, named Bei Bei, who is 11 years old, helps me with the kids.  He is so sweet.  Despite the fact that he is missing part of his left arm, he overcomes every single little obstacle with ease.  At first, he kept stealing things from me and the little ones, but by putting some responsibility on his shoulders, he has come around quite quickly.  He loves being my little helper and I love having him around!  He keeps asking when we are leaving.  Today, I asked him whether he would be sad or not when we leave.  He lowered his eyes, blushed and said,"I'll miss YOU..." So sweet!  Am I allowed to take these kids home with me?! 

 Because most of the kids who are still in the orphanages today are disabled somehow, the Chinese teachers in the training program keep asking me,"So why did your parents give you up again? You're so healthy!".  Are they really surprised when I tell them poverty and gender are the reasons?

 My roommate, the oldest of the teachers (she's about 48), told me her story and thus explained why she teaches orphaned children: Ziyi's father died in the cultural revolution when she was just three years old.  Her older sister was sent to her grandparent's home to be raised.  Alone and confused, SHE raised her mother because her mother was mentally unstable.  She says, "Even though I had a mother growing up, I was always an orphan because I was never raised by my parents.  It was a lonely life.  This is why I know how it feels to be an orphan.  I know how it feels to not be wanted and cared for."  She wants to "put a little something into the empty worlds" of the kids she works with.  She is the only teacher in this training who asks many questions.  I have a lot of respect for her.  She left her lofty job in Beijing to make only about ¥1000 (that's about $159 per month) to teach orphaned children, many will be adopted.